For Starters…

I promised myself I wouldn’t start my blog by announcing, “I finally started my blog!”  That’s a sure sign of early and certain death.

That’s the post that hangs out there for years like all of the abandoned entries, Dickensian orphans on the web begging for the food of attention.  Under duress, I will confess I have forsaken a few myself.  I’m a terrible person, I know.  But I swear I will not do it again.  The secret seems to be never announcing: “I finally started my blog!”

Having not said that here, I still feel a strange compulsion to vaguely suggest what this blog might be about.  Why the domain,, for starters?

I considered (and grabbed that one too) but figured it would be harder to spell over the phone or in conversation.  My family business domain already has that issue and I wanted it to be simpler this time around.  So was an attempt at levity and simplicity.  My hope is that you find these posts entertaining, amusing, curious, humorous and occasionally thought provoking enough to comment on.  I look forward to the dialogue as much as the monologue.

But what do I know?

I’m going to plead Socratic ignorance and say: I only know that I know nothing.  In theory, that’s supposed to make me smarter than those who claim to know something.  In truth, and I shall occasionally speak it, I feel smug when I say that.  I’m also aware that invariably and regularly I’m going to forget I know nothing and plow along with my opinions and life experience, brazenly appearing as if I actually know something about something.  I have a theory that opinions exist to make us feel less panicked about our lack of control over life.  If we hold onto them long enough, we can be seen as rigid, unchanging, stubborn, or perhaps full of integrity because we never change our point of view.  But opinions can also make us look quite stupid when they don’t stand the test of time like the years I spent chiding my wife about FaceBook being “a silly idea that will never catch on…”

You would think that putting one’s foot in one’s mouth would make it hard to say really dumb things, but somehow they just come out louder in my life.  Humble pie is often dessert for me.

I’m fascinated with relationships and the communication that appears to take place within them.

Very few of us on the planet are able to live without a connection to other denizens and yet relationships are the thing we’re less schooled in than grammar.  Seems like most of us bumble through life crashing into the people we care most about with no guidebook to how it could be done more gracefully.  Relationships are funny and heart breaking and I like writing about my flawed participation in them.

As such, I love dialogue.

“Well there’s no dialogue here whatsoever.  Just a long, rambling narrative,” my wife notes.

“That’s because I’m just sort of laying down the ground rules and explaining what they’re going to read,” I replied.

“And you don’t think that’s boring?”

“I’m guessing you do?”

“Didn’t you tell me your job as a writer is to show, not tell?,” she asks.

“Um, yeah, but this is my first blog entry.  I have to have a statement of intent, right?”

“Because that’s what really grabs blog readers?  A statement of intent?”

“Okay, okay.  Point made.  I’ll wrap it up and move forward to entry #2.”

Oh, that was my wife.

She’s pretty brilliant, sarcastic, and actually much warmer and fuzzier than she appears in my dialogues.  I married up.  She’s an Ivy League grad, much better looking than me, and definitely higher up on the evolutionary scale.  She’s always says things like, “You seem upset, would you like to talk about it?,” when all I can do is make grunting sounds, dance and point at things.  We’re in California where friends who know her well describe her with words like,  “conscious, compassionate, and aware.”  Which makes her relationship with me all the more puzzling to them because on my best day, I’m probably a semi-conscious male person.  We’ve been married about 10 years and she still signs me up for workshops and leaves personal growth books on the table next to my side of the bed.  I think I’m making progress, but we’re all aware that it’s not a race I’m ever going to win.

Anyway, conversation seems to be where it all happens in life, marriage, and relationships in general.  I’m hoping to use it a bit more as it can often explain things better than endless narrative.

Sometimes I might get political or philosophical.  I’ve been avoiding that arena for many years because of how partisan things have gotten in America over the past decade or so.  In my day job, we work with both Right and Left Wing clients and everyone in between.  Being apolitical works.  We don’t talk about religion on the job either.  But for better or for worse, this is MY blog and I should be able to yammer on about whatever I like without worrying too much about whether everyone agrees with me, right?  So you may hear a few political and/or religious views popping in now and then.

One of my axes to grind is that we, as a nation, seem to have lost the ability to talk about our differences without name calling, blanket labels, or attacking each other’s character in lieu of the more challenging debate of ideas.  My fantasy is we’ll remember to use our brains for original thought and not let talk radio tell us what to think when we find out our next door neighbor has different views than ours.  I suppose my only caveat falls along the lines of what Thomas Paine once said (I’m paraphrasing), “Tolerance for all, but the self-avowedly intolerant.”

So my bias is that dialogue, funny, constructive, healthy dialogue should happen in all areas of our lives, both personal and political.

If made up statistics are correct, 90% of the people who started reading the top of this page have already moved over to FaceBook. However, if you’re still reading, I hope you’ll continue.  I’m sure I’ve said enough and there will certainly be more to come.

Thanks for indulging me and I hope to see you again.


4 thoughts on “For Starters…

  1. I noticed that this was NOT your first blog post. and that you never said “I finally started my blog.” you said that so many times without saying it. You are funny. See…. I wasn’t just blowing smoke. I had to go back and see your OLD posts. 3 days old) LOL

    • Thanks, Dina. The “For Starters” post was penned (can you say “penned” in 2013?…) last Fall and then ended up just sitting there. Hopefully, this time will be different!

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