The Bane of Awakening [part 2/4]

[part 2]

When we last left our tale, wife and son were discussing me in loud whispers as I attempted with Sisyphean effort to stay asleep.  Finally forced to join the conversation, I was being asked to settle a dispute as to whether or not I looked more like Bane, or Darth Vader.

“So which is it, Pops?  Who’s right?  Me or Mama?”

[sigh]  Why do my days begin this way?  Was hubris my downfall?  Clearly a grumpy me is about as scary as Yogi the Bear.  Has no one in my small clan heard the phrase, “Let sleeping Pops lie?”  My brain had only just begun its unenthusiastic descent back from blissful unconsciousness and I’m being asked (essentially) the: “Do I look fat?”  question.  Joy.

“Harrison Ford,” I reply, pleased to have side-stepped the issue of making my wife or son right at the expense of the other.  Years of therapy may finally be paying off.

“Harrison Ford?  How can he be right?”  my son asks.

“He’s not right!  Nobody’s right!  I just think I look more like Hans Solo.”

Apparently, even in a darkened bedroom, neither of them would mistake me for Harrison Ford.  Both wife and son break out laughing on my dime.  I console myself with the possibility that I’m being a good sport.  The reality is probably I’m just too sleepy to return the volley.

As I mentioned in the previous post, I never had trouble sleeping till my boy was born.  I honestly don’t know if it was the middle of the night waking we did for him that destroyed it.  But from the day he left the womb, I was lucky to get a stretch of 3-4 hours until he was about 8 years old.  Around that time, working with a California NewAge doctor, I found the magic mixture of (legal) herbs and vitamins that finally were beginning to work.  Sure, my wife still complained about the snoring, but for the year and a half that followed, I could usually sleep till about 7am.  That was a major victory.

So why was I so exhausted a good part of the day?

I was doing most of the right things to be healthy and sleep well.  I exercised 4-5 days a week, ate a lot more healthily than I used to, and drank a bottle of wine every night with dinner.  On top of that, I was getting 7-8 hours of sleep each night.  I should feel great, right?  But I didn’t.

So I did what many people are doing these days.

I went to a sleep doctor.

[To be continued...]

2 thoughts on “The Bane of Awakening [part 2/4]

    • Well, I thought so, but apparently I still look more like Jabba. The great American Diet book may be the next thing on my writing agenda. Always write about what you don’t know. That’s my motto.

      Thanks for reading, Carrie!


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